Cato Knows Best

Perhaps it would be good for me to tell you a little about the stories that we cats tell each other around the fire while we wait for the staff to bring us some nice warm milk.  The first is told on Halloween.  It is the story of the Kitty Hawk and tells of a giant hawk that swoops down and picks up the bad kitties and carries them off where they are turned into yappy, arrogant, stupid and ill-tempered little dogs.  This is where Chihuahuas come from.  The mother cats tell this to their kittens to get them to behave.  Believe me, no cat wants to end up a Chihuahua.

For Thanksgiving it is the story of how the Pilgrims would have starved had it not been for the resourcefulness of the cats in winning the affection of the Indians who then provided food for the Pilgrims and taught them how to grow much of it for themselves.  The Indians recognized the cats as brilliant hunters and immediately saw they had something in common with them. I’m not sure they really trusted the Pilgrims, but they came to that conclusion a bit too late.

On Christmas Eve just before we all go to sleep our mothers would tell us the story of Kitty Claws, which is where humans got the story of Santa Claus.  Kitty Claws embodied the best of catdom; kindness, wisdom, warmth, and concern for fellow cats.  Kitty Claws brings presents for all good kitties, the bad ones having been taken by the Kitty Hawk and recycled into Chihuahuas and given to unsuspecting kids as Christmas presents.  Toy mice are a favorite.  Live ones are better but in deference to the staff’s sensibilities toy ones are the norm.  Kitty Claws travels in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.  In the beginning the sleigh was pulled by mice but you can imagine the problems that created with the mice being understandably nervous knowing that Kitty Claws was a big eater and it was a long night.

So if you hear a little noise coming from around the Christmas tree late on Christmas Eve, it is NOT the cat trashing the tree, it is Kitty Claws visiting your precious kitties.